If you keep attracting the ‘wrong’ people you may be wading through karmic teacher relationships, which can feel like finding all the wrong ones, but really you are attracting the exact person who carries the lesson you need to learn. Their primary purpose is to reflect the blind spots that are keeping you from being whole, complete within yourself, and available for true partnership.
I’m defining ‘karma’ as lessons that your soul wants to learn. These lessons can be passed down for generations in your current family or collected through lifetimes. Once you’ve learned that lesson on the deepest level you can move on and you stop attracting situations and people to teach you that lesson. Same person, different face keeps showing up? That’s good ol’ persistent karma.
It’s ironic to say this as a Relationship Coaching but many times the final lesson in a karmic teacher relationship is realizing you’ve had enough and not worrying if the door hits you on the way out.
Some relationships are teachers and some are partners. Once you do our internal work to love yourself and stop projecting your shadow material onto another you become a great partner for yourself, and you start attracting what feel more like divine partner relationships into your life (aka soulmates/twin flames/divine compliments if you’re into all that). This is the gold women mine for in romance novels, and men in Penthouse magazine, and what people hire relationship coaches to find.
My experience of entering into a partnership after being in various difficult teacher relationships is wow, I have so much time and energy to put into the rest of my life!
If it’s not a fuck yes, it’s a karmic teacher.
- If a karmic teacher is there is something to learn.
- There is a tendency to think karmic teachers are divine partners so you white knuckle to get through to the good stuff. If there is white knuckling it’s a teacher.
- You must be willing to let go of your teacher to become/find a partner.
- Karmic relationships play games, concern themselves with power dynamics and whose right and wrong..
- If you are looking for someone to fill a void you will always find a karmic teacher to guide you back to self-love.
- Karmic teachers can feel like someone you must have right now without thinking.
Divine partnerships are about creation.
- Divine partnership shows up when two whole people want to know more about one another.
- They are multi-layered yet simple, they are not complicated. Complications=Karma.
- Let’s play a game called who can own their shit and take responsibility the fastest.
- You will find a divine partner when you are so in love with the union you have found within that you stop caring about finding one.
- Partnerships add love and fulfillment to your life and they refill every bit of energy they take and then some.
- Partnerships allow their excitement to come from life and not from the drama of the relationship.
In a partnership issues are solved with listening, love, and giving each other what you need.
If your karmic teacher is abusive or highly narcissistic, end it as soon as you become aware. This is not the person to work stuff out with. Ending it is the first step toward healing this pattern within yourself. Do it now. There is no waiting or working on relationships with abusive people. In these cases finding the strength to leave that part of yourself behind is the lesson.
Notice how no one in a Soap Opera is in a healthy relationship?
Look out, karmic teachers can be captivating. You can get wrapped up in them for days or weeks, season after season it goes on, and one day you realize not much has actually happened outside of the endless relationship crack dramas.
Above all, observe and listen to yourself.
If you read this and a little voice in your head says I’m in a karmic relationship, ask yourself what lesson am I with this person to learn?
Have I learned this lesson yet?
What work do I need to do within myself to complete this karma? (Or it may show up in the next one.)
What was my part in creating the dynamics I don’t like about this relationship?
Wherever you are in the relationship process is perfect. The more you do your own work on the blindspots your karmic teachers are revealing, the more available you are for divine partnership.
Be aware of breaking up and projecting everything that happened on your teacher. If you make them responsible for your part of the relationship karma will give you that same lesson in the next teacher. Being in divine partnership isn’t about being perfect. It’s about showing up for yourself and your partner, listening and telling the truth, and not taking your process personally.
When you stop worrying about finding a divine partner and become one yourself, you watch them start appearing in every area of your life.